Bullying: A Miserable Portrait of Culture

It's 02:08, I'm still awake and just realized as the end of the year approaches, I still have one thing to be told before 2012 comes. (Well it is just my target to tell you it in this year). It's BULLYING, an issue that nowadays has started being discussed in public as a serious problem. I used to be a bullied boy, so I take it as my duty to share what I got in my mind about this problem. In spreading the message of the "Against Bullying" campaign, I'd like to show my view through my essay I have written about this issue.

Bullying: A Miserable Portrait of Culture
By M. Rido Mantenna

T

hrough the personality development , a child will find some hard times or struggles of some threats that may happen in his/her daily life. One of some threats that commonly happens is the dangers of bullying. Consciously or not, for many years bullying has become a culture in our society. People in many countries see it as a common action that is usually done by growing children. The parents usually let their children bully others or being bullied without paying attention about the effects that will affect their children’s future because they see it as a common thing. Bullying is a serious problem that has to be taken care. It is a global issue that relates to children mentality development.

According to Wikipedia.com, bullying is explained as “an aggressive behavior manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when the behavior is habitual and involves an imbalance of power. It can include verbal harassment, physical assault or coercion and may be directed persistently towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of race, religion, gender, sexuality, or ability” The explanation shows us that bullying may happens because of the imbalance power between one child and others. The target is usually a person who has a deficiency or difference other than other children, while the bully is usually a person who has more power in a certain scope. According to Wikipedia.com too, bullying has three basic types of abuse. They are emotional, verbal, and physical. Bullying can occur in any context or place in which human beings interact with each other. It could be in house, school, or in the workplace. Bullying can also exist between social groups or social classes. The religion issue or race issue may become the factors that cause bullying. 

In most cases, Family takes a big role of how the “inside home education” creates such a behavior that always wants to dominate, or intimidate or even bully others. Children who have this behavior usually come from a “broken-home” family. They see their families’ pattern at home which indirectly teaches the bad behavior to the children. In some cases, children who like to bully others come from families which don’t give a good communication and attention to their children. They just see their kids go to school, do their things well, and that’s all. This factor causes the children to have a view that as long as they go to school and do what  their parents tell, so the rest are allowed to do. The children may not see bullying behavior as a wrong action because their parents never tell it specifically in their daily interactions. 

While the bully factors consists those two examples, it’s almost the same with the factors that cause a bullied child or a child which is targeted by some children to be bullied. Family also takes an important role in making the low self-esteem children. When they come from a “broken home” family, this type of children cannot accept how bad their parents treat them at home, and it makes them feel broken. They also get the effects with a different perspective than the children who have a tendency to rebel their hurt feelings by bullying others. This type of children tend to take it out or show their feelings by being quite persons in their societies, especially at school. And quite children could easily become a target for bullies. 

The other factor that causes self-esteem children is also parents who don’t spend much time with their children. This is the factor that most commonly happens to the targeted children. Their parents do not know what their children’s problems. Same as the bully factor, the parents only see them go to school, study at home, and do their school things without paying attention to what actually happens to their children at school. If bully children can express or show their anger by bullying others, targeted children can only accept those bad actions because they do not have the courage to fight back. That is very terrible and dangerous when children get so much pressure and they have no way to express and no one to share it. It can cause a psychological trauma which will affect their lives in the future. Parents should take one real action in order to save their children. They just cannot see it as a common thing that happens to growing children.

The same thing happens to teachers at school. As parents see this behavior as a common thing, teachers also take it as the same. They prefer to give more attention to students’ academic life, than giving more attention to take care students’ mentality periodic and well. If bullying happens, teachers usually give advices to the bully children not to do that anymore, but it never really works to them, and bullying still happens at school. The advices never give a real change to the bullying culture at school. Children psychologist, Kak Seto once said “Banyak pihak sekolah tidak peduli kasus bullying ini. Padahal dampaknya bagi anak sangat besar.” He also said “Korban Bullying biasanya mengalami trauma yang berkepanjangan. Hal itu sangat berdampak bagi kondisi psikologi dan kelangsungan pendidikan anak di masa depan.”  By reading his thought about bullying, we can be more understand and realize how terrible bullying affects the victims.

Talking about the effects of bullying, beside the trauma, and the self-esteem confidence, in some cases bullying have made children commit to suicide. There are so many cases that had happened in the real life as the worst effect of bullying. For example, in 2003 a teenager had committed to suicide because of the pressure of being bullied. Ryan Halligan committed suicide at the age of 13 because of bullying from his classmates at school. He also got a cyber bullying from his friends accusing him of being a gay child. Another case was happened in 1997. Kelly Yeomans, an English school girl who also committed suicide at the age of 13 because of the bad harassment she got from her friends at school.  Allegedly, the bullying accused her weight. In September 28^th 1997, she was found dead in her bedroom after consuming an overdose of painkillers. 

Despite the cases of suicide because of bullying, there is one case of a child who dare to fight back his bullies and became a YouTube, even a media sensation because the bully video was uploaded to the video site. It is Casey Heynes, a 16 year old Australian boy who got bullied at school by his younger schoolmate named Ritchard Gale (12). Heynes’ father said that his son had been bullied for years without fighting back. An unnamed classmate said "People pick on him every single day. They hit him around and stuff, and he just got sick of it and let out the anger,"  Heynes had been bullied for years by his schoolmates until the video came up on the internet and shocked many people. The 43 seconds video shows how Heynes was being bullied by Gale first. He got punched in the face, and on his stomach, and suddenly he made his move by catching and slamming Gale. Heynes immediately opened people’s eyes by his video, and show the public how a bullied child must stand up for himself. He also become a hero for those who get bullied.  

Seeing this case as a global phenomenon when so many people give comments and support Heynes as a new hero for fighting the bully shows another fact that actually people outside there have the same thought about bullying. They show care and support him that what he has done to the bully is a right thing. 

People’s awareness to what happened to Heynes, makes us realize that bullying is really one of today’s most serious problems that exists in our society, especially for children. So what should adults do especially parents who take a main part as a children’s protector and as the one which has a biggest responsibility to children’s growth.  According to National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC), parents can play a certain role to stop bullying that happens to their children.

NCPC’s steps:

• Teach kids to solve problems without using violence and praise them when they do.
• Give children positive feedback when they behave well to help their build self-esteem. Help give them the self-confidence to stand up for what they believe in.
• Ask your children about their day and listen to them talk about school, social events, their classmates, and any problems they have.
• Take bullying seriously. Many kids are embarrassed to say they have been bullied. You may only have one chance to step in and help.
• If you see any bullying, stop it right away, even if your child is the one doing the bullying.
• Encourage your child to help others who need it.
• Don't bully your children or bully others in front of them. Many times kids who are bullied at home react by bullying other kids. If your children see you hit, ridicule, or gossip about someone else, they are also more likely to do so themselves.
• Support bully prevention programs in your child's school. If your school doesn't have one, consider starting one with other parents, teachers, and concerned adults.

With the actions/ steps that parents should do above, we must be aware and open our eyes to stop this violence and to realize that this is a serious problem. Parents, teachers and we should make a real action to this thing because it does really affect children’s future directly or indirectly. The old perception about this issue as a culture is totally wrong. Bullying is not a culture, this is something bad that can be prevented by us as parts of society. We can stop bullying, and save children.

I hope my essay can more open people's eyes and thoughts about this issue. I also hope that the essay can help other people out there who are suffered from bullying and still have no idea about what to do. Don't ever let people discourage you, stand up, speak up!